If I had to identify the single most significant experience I offer my children, (my relationship with my hubby too in fact), the thing I know is empowering them to: explore and know self; understand the intricacies of people, places and spirit; consider the convoluted and glorious workings of heart and mind; and, set their sights on the co-creation of a world we can be infinitely proud of –
it is conversation.
(*Now, if you think this post is just for parents, hold fast, it’s for ALL, as it’s not just mentors who need to up their ante on conscious connection, is it?).
As parents who have also chosen to LifeSchool our boys, communication, profound and simple, is what dazzles us daily. We are the confidants, the guides, the listeners when they have something silly or delightful, perplexing or daring to share. Seemingly insignificant chit-chat can lead to the most illuminating considerations and insights, from how we regard others, practice compassion for all living things, what it means to be derogatory or considerate, what we value as a family and deem appropriate and not, and how we as adults consider conflict, sorrow and challenges and face our humanity, our worry and rise above in a conscious choice for peace with a focus on our profound gratitude.
I wondered in my initial years of parenting if I shared too much, if they understood half, or any, of what I said. But I couldn’t and didn’t want to be anyone other than who I am, for them. Parenting books had tried-and-true tricks-of-the-trade, and I just wanted to show up as me, to let them see and know me the way I wish I’d been able to know my parents. To have this, I had to let them in.
I want to, at all costs,
through all ebbs and flows,
delve into the juice of life with our kids.
There is a common discussion among friends now about the shift in our society and the ways of parenting of the past versus now. “Today, our generation seeks counselling because their parents rarely shared. The next generation, our kids, will have to pay for TMI Therapy (Too Much Information Therapy).” We all bust out in hysterics.
But if we are to shift statistics in our favor, for ourselves and others, social capital, weaving that essential fabric of a connected society, begins at home with a conversation and I’d rather have too much of it than too little, wouldn’t you?
This mission does not require you to have children to participate. As adults we can become complacent, feel like we know our partner or our friends intimately after years of sharing space. But do we, really? Ever have the experience when your significant other or friend answers a question with a tidbit you had no clue about and you feel slightly cheated that you didn’t know, that they didn’t tell you? Well, consider this… Did you ask?
We need to get creative if we want the depth of our relationships overtime to expand, and of course we do.
Your Mission (should you choose to accept it!)
Find ways to consciously, creatively and compassionately connect with others – ask questions, listen, ask more, and allow the relationships to genuinely bloom and expand. Move out into your day and see the world and its people and be curious to know more about them and then take action.
Xtraordinary Game-Changer Convo Tip from our World to Yours
- Heroic Reflection, Connection Questions. Every night we go around the table (yes, this requires a commitment to eat together every night) and each one of us is asked and answers these questions:
- What was your YES! Moment today? (This is a moment that was fabulous, something that made you feel amazing, made you feel content. It can be simple or grand, but every day there is something that happened that you can reflect on and say “YES! that was a great moment!”)
- What lesson did you learn? (Here we reflect on what happened during the day that taught us something, what we learned about another, ourselves, life.)
- What are you grateful for? (This allows us to come back to what is truly important in our lives, what we are blessed with during a day.)
- Prepare to be Ahhhhh-mazed with what flows!
In awe and celebration of the life you embrace with heroic intent, the example you are to all those who are privy to your WoW and the adventure you make of your life.
Up, up, up and awwwway…
** Please note that this is an excerpt from our book The Mad Hero’s Handbook – Due out early 2017. We don’t want you to wait to embark of the Missions to drive your YES!, Xtraordinary life, so we’re giving tidbits here to inspire. To get your free copy of The Mad Hero’s Manifesto & join our League of XGers, click away. We’ll love to #SuitUp with you!**